Do you fall and often can't get up due to the injury that occurred when you fell? Do you often trip over nothing? Do you fall UP the stairs? Are you referred to as, "the clumsy friend"? Yeah. That's me.
I know it's weird to start this off as one of my first posts, but due to recent events, this is the freshest subject on my brain right now.
So all of my life, I have been referred to as "Accident Prone." I have sprained, twisted, pulled, cracked, and broken a few things growing up. I am very uncoordinated person. I once tried to pursue a life in music. I tried piano, drums, and the clarinet. One day my music teacher told me, "Honey, I don't think this is going to work out. You shouldn't continue pursuing ANY music route because you are entirely too uncoordinated." ..... well. I'm definitely not a musician, obviously.
Two major events have occurred to stop me from being an unstoppable frolicking dragon: I tore my ACL and broke my ankle. I tore my ACL the summer before my freshman year at camp while playing a game called, "Blind Man's Tag." This is how the game is played: You are on a playground. There is one person who is blindfolded and has to try and tag everyone else on the playground. The last one standing wins. So obviously, being the coordinated butterfly that I am, I was born for this game. I was one of the last kids on the playground trying not to get tagged by the blindman. My hiding spot was complex. I had one foot underneath a window, and the other foot on a block of wood. My legs were in a split position and I looked like some awesome acrobatic person. Well. Somehow my left knee gave. It curved inward and released a sound that was like a piece of wood splitting in half. I fell to the ground and saw that my kneecap had dislocated and slid all the way to the side of my knee. It was disgusting and I couldn't even comprehend what was going on. I guess the shock of it all made me start laughing uncontrollably. This made everyone else around me start laughing and they thought I was fine. But my awesome counselor, Kaitie, heard the crack and saw the gross deformed knee. She carried me up the hill to the medic station where another awesome counselor, Erin, looked at me like I was doomed. That's when the pain started to hit me. I went from laughing to wanting to throw up all over the whole world. Kaitie and Erin were so reassuring and they made me think that I would be coming back to camp the next day! Little did they know,(or they did know and they just didn't want to be the ones to tell me) that my life was over.
So skip past a few hundred tears and breakdowns and embarrassing hospital gowns, to my ACL surgery going well and I went to physical therapy for a few months to grow a new knee.
I broke my ankle in my sophomore year of high school. It was during a volleyball game. I went up to spike the ball but I landed on the outside of my ankle. And it made that horrifying cracking noise. Its the same noise that probably occurs when you enter through the gates of Hell......<----okay so that may be a little dramatic....but it's a horrible sound. Again, I started laughing uncontrollably so everyone just helped me off the court and laughed with me. The next few weeks, my ankle was pretty swollen....but I kind of ignored that....I ignored my swollen ankle for about 3 months.....and then while I was trick-or-treating at a friends house, I rolled my ankle off the concrete and into the road.....skip past some trips to the hospital, lots of exposed butts in the hospital, a surgery, physical therapy and life being difficult, my ankle is still technically broken.
You see, there were two surgeries that were recommended for my ankle. Option 1: put a screw in my ankle to attach the two bones back together---this surgery had a 50% chance of working. Option 2: the option that we didn't pick because it was super expensive but had a 100% chance of working. So yeah. Of course with my odds, the 50% chance was not in my favor. The surgery did not really work and I still have a screw in my ankle.
I AM TELLING YOU ALL OF THIS AS A PREQUEL TO RIGHT NOW.
So yesterday, I was out celebrating with my friend, Pochohantes, for her birthday. We went mini golfing, got some fro-yo, and watched movies. It was really nice! It was maybe around 2am when we were done being awesome together and we were walking outside to leave. My friend Ariel insulted me and I tried stomping away while she was hugging me to apologize. We were stomping and hugging when I stomped on the halfway point between the cement and the grass. My ankle rolled out and I fell. Crap.
Skip past a lot of delusional laughing, awkward guilt, awkwardness of people having to take care of me, awkwardness of having to go back inside with everyone who was about to leave but they felt like they had to stay with me, to now: laying on a bed with my swollen and bruised ankle propped up on some exceptional fluffy pillows. It sucks.
The worst part about these injuries is the guilt that follows. Maybe I am just a naturally guilty person, but I am someone who thinks a lot about consequences and other peoples reactions. Like I really dislike when people have to take care of me: helping me walk, carrying all my stuff, getting me ice, watching me cry---I just hate when my actions inconvenience or burden other people. Yes, I know that these people love me and are more than willing to help me because they are just so awesome, but it's hard for me to accept their help---this could be possibly metaphorical for some greater issue with my psyche or something but I won't get that deep right now.
Going through my knee and ankle surgery really took a financial toll on my parents. (My parents have done ALOT for me, but I also won't get into that right now.) So even though I couldn't control the breaking of my body which caused the financial burden, I still felt guilty for being the cause of that burden of my parents. I am just a never ending cycle of complex, but it's really simple too: I am a klutz and it sucks, but I know that my parents and friends love me and sometimes I just had to learn to relinquish control and let people love me.
That's as personal and deep as i'll get in this post. But here are some things you can take away from this and what you need to know if you consider yourself "accident prone."
1) If you've been this way....accept your fate....you'll probably always be this way. Embrace it.
Don't just ignore these incidents, take them as signs that you should take it slow and be aware of your surroundings. You gotta realize your strengths and weaknesses so that you can constantly be improving yourself and trying to be the best version of yourself that you can. Getting hurt all the time can cause a lot present and permanent discomfort. You're sometimes referred to as "the clumsy friend" which can be a cool title to have. But accept that you've got some coordination problems and work on them!
2) Try a yoga class.
Yoga is great! It really helps you slow down and reflect on yourself. It also helps a whole lot with your balance physically AND emotionally. So go get your dog and ninja poses on at your gym or with some YouTube videos.
3) Don't put yourself in stupid situations in which your "accident proneness" is more likely to show up.
Don't go play hopscotch if you just injured yourself! Geez! Like if you just suffered from one of your frequent falls, don't try to do any hardcore par core. Especially if you're diagnosed with a deficiency or something like tendonitis, don't put yourself in situations that will put you at risk. Again, sometimes you can't help that sidewalks want you dead, just don't antagonize it.
4) Don't feel guilty about it, man.
It's really hard. It's hard not to feel guilty when someone is going out of their way to help you. You feel like you should be able to be independent and not have to ask someone to help you go to the bathroom. It's a super vulnerable situation to be in. But you're in it. And the people who are there for you, love you. THEY LOVE YOU SO FREAKING MUCH. ACCEPT THEIR LOVE LIKE YOU WANT THEM TO ACCEPT YOURS. There will always be stuff that happens where you need people to love you and for you to love them. That's the whole point of any relationship. It's a give and take of loving and caring for one another selflessly. Accept the help because if you keep pushing people away, they won't come back. You're worth being cared for!
I've been through some injuries but it's helped me learn how to accept help and love from other people. So right now, I'm back with my best friends Ice Pack and Ace Bandage to help get me moving and grooving again, but I'm realizing that I have people around who love and value me. Maybe this injury is exactly what I needed to make me realize that I've got a good life. Or. Maybe it will be another reason for my friends to peg me as the clumsy one.
I know it's weird to start this off as one of my first posts, but due to recent events, this is the freshest subject on my brain right now.
So all of my life, I have been referred to as "Accident Prone." I have sprained, twisted, pulled, cracked, and broken a few things growing up. I am very uncoordinated person. I once tried to pursue a life in music. I tried piano, drums, and the clarinet. One day my music teacher told me, "Honey, I don't think this is going to work out. You shouldn't continue pursuing ANY music route because you are entirely too uncoordinated." ..... well. I'm definitely not a musician, obviously.
Two major events have occurred to stop me from being an unstoppable frolicking dragon: I tore my ACL and broke my ankle. I tore my ACL the summer before my freshman year at camp while playing a game called, "Blind Man's Tag." This is how the game is played: You are on a playground. There is one person who is blindfolded and has to try and tag everyone else on the playground. The last one standing wins. So obviously, being the coordinated butterfly that I am, I was born for this game. I was one of the last kids on the playground trying not to get tagged by the blindman. My hiding spot was complex. I had one foot underneath a window, and the other foot on a block of wood. My legs were in a split position and I looked like some awesome acrobatic person. Well. Somehow my left knee gave. It curved inward and released a sound that was like a piece of wood splitting in half. I fell to the ground and saw that my kneecap had dislocated and slid all the way to the side of my knee. It was disgusting and I couldn't even comprehend what was going on. I guess the shock of it all made me start laughing uncontrollably. This made everyone else around me start laughing and they thought I was fine. But my awesome counselor, Kaitie, heard the crack and saw the gross deformed knee. She carried me up the hill to the medic station where another awesome counselor, Erin, looked at me like I was doomed. That's when the pain started to hit me. I went from laughing to wanting to throw up all over the whole world. Kaitie and Erin were so reassuring and they made me think that I would be coming back to camp the next day! Little did they know,(or they did know and they just didn't want to be the ones to tell me) that my life was over.
So skip past a few hundred tears and breakdowns and embarrassing hospital gowns, to my ACL surgery going well and I went to physical therapy for a few months to grow a new knee.
I broke my ankle in my sophomore year of high school. It was during a volleyball game. I went up to spike the ball but I landed on the outside of my ankle. And it made that horrifying cracking noise. Its the same noise that probably occurs when you enter through the gates of Hell......<----okay so that may be a little dramatic....but it's a horrible sound. Again, I started laughing uncontrollably so everyone just helped me off the court and laughed with me. The next few weeks, my ankle was pretty swollen....but I kind of ignored that....I ignored my swollen ankle for about 3 months.....and then while I was trick-or-treating at a friends house, I rolled my ankle off the concrete and into the road.....skip past some trips to the hospital, lots of exposed butts in the hospital, a surgery, physical therapy and life being difficult, my ankle is still technically broken.
You see, there were two surgeries that were recommended for my ankle. Option 1: put a screw in my ankle to attach the two bones back together---this surgery had a 50% chance of working. Option 2: the option that we didn't pick because it was super expensive but had a 100% chance of working. So yeah. Of course with my odds, the 50% chance was not in my favor. The surgery did not really work and I still have a screw in my ankle.
I AM TELLING YOU ALL OF THIS AS A PREQUEL TO RIGHT NOW.
So yesterday, I was out celebrating with my friend, Pochohantes, for her birthday. We went mini golfing, got some fro-yo, and watched movies. It was really nice! It was maybe around 2am when we were done being awesome together and we were walking outside to leave. My friend Ariel insulted me and I tried stomping away while she was hugging me to apologize. We were stomping and hugging when I stomped on the halfway point between the cement and the grass. My ankle rolled out and I fell. Crap.
Skip past a lot of delusional laughing, awkward guilt, awkwardness of people having to take care of me, awkwardness of having to go back inside with everyone who was about to leave but they felt like they had to stay with me, to now: laying on a bed with my swollen and bruised ankle propped up on some exceptional fluffy pillows. It sucks.
The worst part about these injuries is the guilt that follows. Maybe I am just a naturally guilty person, but I am someone who thinks a lot about consequences and other peoples reactions. Like I really dislike when people have to take care of me: helping me walk, carrying all my stuff, getting me ice, watching me cry---I just hate when my actions inconvenience or burden other people. Yes, I know that these people love me and are more than willing to help me because they are just so awesome, but it's hard for me to accept their help---this could be possibly metaphorical for some greater issue with my psyche or something but I won't get that deep right now.
Going through my knee and ankle surgery really took a financial toll on my parents. (My parents have done ALOT for me, but I also won't get into that right now.) So even though I couldn't control the breaking of my body which caused the financial burden, I still felt guilty for being the cause of that burden of my parents. I am just a never ending cycle of complex, but it's really simple too: I am a klutz and it sucks, but I know that my parents and friends love me and sometimes I just had to learn to relinquish control and let people love me.
That's as personal and deep as i'll get in this post. But here are some things you can take away from this and what you need to know if you consider yourself "accident prone."
1) If you've been this way....accept your fate....you'll probably always be this way. Embrace it.
Don't just ignore these incidents, take them as signs that you should take it slow and be aware of your surroundings. You gotta realize your strengths and weaknesses so that you can constantly be improving yourself and trying to be the best version of yourself that you can. Getting hurt all the time can cause a lot present and permanent discomfort. You're sometimes referred to as "the clumsy friend" which can be a cool title to have. But accept that you've got some coordination problems and work on them!
2) Try a yoga class.
Yoga is great! It really helps you slow down and reflect on yourself. It also helps a whole lot with your balance physically AND emotionally. So go get your dog and ninja poses on at your gym or with some YouTube videos.
3) Don't put yourself in stupid situations in which your "accident proneness" is more likely to show up.
Don't go play hopscotch if you just injured yourself! Geez! Like if you just suffered from one of your frequent falls, don't try to do any hardcore par core. Especially if you're diagnosed with a deficiency or something like tendonitis, don't put yourself in situations that will put you at risk. Again, sometimes you can't help that sidewalks want you dead, just don't antagonize it.
4) Don't feel guilty about it, man.
It's really hard. It's hard not to feel guilty when someone is going out of their way to help you. You feel like you should be able to be independent and not have to ask someone to help you go to the bathroom. It's a super vulnerable situation to be in. But you're in it. And the people who are there for you, love you. THEY LOVE YOU SO FREAKING MUCH. ACCEPT THEIR LOVE LIKE YOU WANT THEM TO ACCEPT YOURS. There will always be stuff that happens where you need people to love you and for you to love them. That's the whole point of any relationship. It's a give and take of loving and caring for one another selflessly. Accept the help because if you keep pushing people away, they won't come back. You're worth being cared for!
I've been through some injuries but it's helped me learn how to accept help and love from other people. So right now, I'm back with my best friends Ice Pack and Ace Bandage to help get me moving and grooving again, but I'm realizing that I have people around who love and value me. Maybe this injury is exactly what I needed to make me realize that I've got a good life. Or. Maybe it will be another reason for my friends to peg me as the clumsy one.